Don't Forget About Dads
Updated: Jun 18, 2020
As a momma, the needs of the kids are always my priority. I try to take care of myself and ensure my cup is full so I can nurture everyone in my family effectively. In order to do that I try to have some self-care time.
But what about Dad?
Sometimes his well being gets left behind. He is often the one whom I leave the kids with when I need some friend time or a shopping experience BY MYSELF. Or he is the one I am asking to spend time with at night for an “at home” date night. These things are generally on top of the laundry list of things he has to do in and around our home, above and beyond working all day.
So how do we not forget about Dad? Give him the same treatment you’d expect for yourself. When was the last time you encouraged him to have a guys night without complaining or making him feel guilty? Or when was the last time you took the kids out of the house to give him some quiet time? I don’t know about you momma, but these are two of the biggest things I appreciate the most when he offers! Plus, the added bonus is, your kids get to witness what a solid partnership is all about - give and take!
Don’t Take It From Me, I’m A Mom | Some Feedback from REAL Dads
“I hit my max with chaos a lot sooner than Nikki does. Going to work helps me reset, or having Nikki take the kids out while I have some time alone [helps]. Having time to do the things I like is just as important as it is for moms. It’s nice to just feel like myself sometimes, and not like I’m just a dad. Having good communication with your spouse helps lower stress and chaos though. It’s important for us to be on the same page with just about everything.” -Nick
“I need to not have my instincts criticized. Like, if I want to dress the kids in stuff that doesn’t match, let it be. Who is it hurting? If I get criticized for it, it makes me not want to do that job again. I want to be seen and appreciated as a husband, not only as a dad. I want to be on the top of the priority list sometimes and I want our relationship to not always be about the kids. I don’t need affection 8 days a week, 25 hours a day, but I do need it. Just like you need to be shown love and affection. The biggest one is being able to go do things without feeling like you are going to be mad at me for choosing that over being home or helping with something.” -John
" I'm an outdoors man, and a stay at home dad. As soon as Covid hit and the kids were out of school we headed into the bush. In March, we were in the snow building lean-to's, ice fishing and tapping birch trees. I've been camping in the trailer with the kids since May 14th and only going in to town as needed. This has been for my own sanity more than anything. I didn't want the battle of home-schooling and having them in the house 24/7. I really think our kids will look back at this as the longest "summer vacation" ever. When my wife is not working, I enjoy hunting and fishing, alone. Or going for a walk in the bush." -Jay
Lately, I feel good when I am able to have time to accomplish the little projects around the house - mowing the lawn, getting the camper ready for summer and fixing things that need to be fixed around the house. I have tried for awhile to get these things done. In order to feel happy in my partnership, I need communication and having her be open to compromise. I also enjoy some down time where I like to play video games, sports or spend time with the boys." -Josh
Ten Ways To Show "Dad" You Care
Let him sleep in or make a schedule to ensure it’s equal (if it’s not already)
Go out of your way to make him his favourite meal at least once a week
COMPLIMENT him: a parenting compliment, a spouse complement, a human complement
Give the poor man some sex already (because we all know this is the real #1 on the list)!!!!!
Make his wants validated and encouraged without jealousy or guilt creeping in
Do some of the “blue” chores once in awhile and surprise him
Do the work to be on the same page and complete partners through parenthood
Acknowledge all the things he does and show him gratitude
Be clear when telling or asking for what you need - trust me, this will in turn, make him happy!
Date him. Make your relationship a priority and let him know how much he means to you!
If you haven’t heard of the five love languages, check it out. Although “Let’s have sex” will surely get his attention, there are other ways he might need to feel love. My husband and I have evaluated our love languages, more than once, and it sure has helped keep us be connected and attentive to each other in our relationship. Parenthood is hard. Both momma and dad need to feel taken care of in order to maintain a good family dynamic!